Subject line says it all. I am back to wondering if I will ever manage to haul my big but into the wagon again. Amber is back very motivated but I feel sluggish ans lazy and truthfully uncareing about my health or weight. Maybe if I became an alcoholic the food would no longer be an issue. They say peoeple who give up one addition turn to another.
Life is super crazy at the moment for me and eating is how I cope. Maybe tomorrow if I am not abducted again.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Day Five
So today was a nice day. I got my granite put in and the kitchen is on its way to completion. I worked 3 hours making Brunswick stew for the fam today. All the grandkids came and all the kids but Kala. That is always fun...
I have thought a lot today about why I over eat. I took an emotional eating quiz and it said I have Binge Eating Disorder...I have been saying for years I was a dysfunctional Bulimic..cause I binge but do not purge,,little did I know it has a name all of its own.
Still workin on me...more Growin than Shrinkin lately...
I have thought a lot today about why I over eat. I took an emotional eating quiz and it said I have Binge Eating Disorder...I have been saying for years I was a dysfunctional Bulimic..cause I binge but do not purge,,little did I know it has a name all of its own.
Still workin on me...more Growin than Shrinkin lately...
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Day Four...
Yes I do realize I lost a day...I had a work seminar on Friday until lunch. I came home and took a nap and waited for the nutritionist to call to discuss my next steps.
Our conversation went something like this...
Ms. S you know you are extremely knowledgeable about health & nutrition and I really do not think I can tell you anything that you do not already know. My main suggestion to you would be that you find someway to work thru the issues and stress you have that make you eat. Well, thanks for that...
Do you think I need a nutritionist to tell me I got issues..heck I KNOW I got issues if you had my life and managed to grow up without issues well you would be a sociopath.
I think I gotta look online for a good book to read and ignore...
until day 5...
Our conversation went something like this...
Ms. S you know you are extremely knowledgeable about health & nutrition and I really do not think I can tell you anything that you do not already know. My main suggestion to you would be that you find someway to work thru the issues and stress you have that make you eat. Well, thanks for that...
Do you think I need a nutritionist to tell me I got issues..heck I KNOW I got issues if you had my life and managed to grow up without issues well you would be a sociopath.
I think I gotta look online for a good book to read and ignore...
until day 5...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Day Two...
It was a long day. I had my Xolair shots at 9am. I thought today might be better food wise but not so much. I had about 80mg of fat total.I am kidding myself I knew from the get go it would be a wash.
I have an appointment with the nutritionist at 3:30 tomorrow. A shrink would be better for me I am sure. Carnie Wilson was on Dr. Oz today and they were talking about how after her gastric bypass she changed from a food addiction to an alchohol addition and then stopped drinking and went back to food. I would almost prefer the alcholism at this point. I know sad.
Maybe I will look for an OA meeting.
I have an appointment with the nutritionist at 3:30 tomorrow. A shrink would be better for me I am sure. Carnie Wilson was on Dr. Oz today and they were talking about how after her gastric bypass she changed from a food addiction to an alchohol addition and then stopped drinking and went back to food. I would almost prefer the alcholism at this point. I know sad.
Maybe I will look for an OA meeting.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Day one
So when I told my husband I was going to start this blog he said, Oh My God, our house is going to fall into the stone ages with all the hobbies you have now. I am not really sure what that means but I am pretty certain it was meant to be negative.
In my defense, I do not have a lot of hobbies. I have a few hobbies which I hop back and forth between in semi-excitement not exactly completeing much of anything. I am what you would call a "planner". An extremely detailed planner. The problem being I plan everything down to the smallest detail and fail, (I hate that word), to follow thru. That is what makes me awesome management material.
I could go on and on in fine detail, (of course) giving lots of examples of my inability to complete fantastically thought out THINGS, PLANS, BOOKS, MODELS,IDEAS...but I think you get the jest of my issue. BUT...this blog is not about all those short comings in my personality. It is about what a lot of your blogs are about. My inability to go one single day without eating lard.
I love grease. Well, that is what I tell myself and others. The truth is I am an addict. And just like any other addict my addiction will kill me eventually. No, I do not mean the addiction for hobbies. I mean I am slowly killing myself with food. Just as surely as someone commits suicide with pills or a gun I am killing myself and apparently I choose to die with every single binging bite...
I am writing this blog to hopefully work thru my addiction and get to a healthier place. WARNING***For anyone who reads this and may know me I want you to know this is not going to be a safe place because I intend to be totally honest about everything and everyone in my world who I can place blame on...even though it is me who is to blame...did I mention I HAVE ISSUES?
In my defense, I do not have a lot of hobbies. I have a few hobbies which I hop back and forth between in semi-excitement not exactly completeing much of anything. I am what you would call a "planner". An extremely detailed planner. The problem being I plan everything down to the smallest detail and fail, (I hate that word), to follow thru. That is what makes me awesome management material.
I could go on and on in fine detail, (of course) giving lots of examples of my inability to complete fantastically thought out THINGS, PLANS, BOOKS, MODELS,IDEAS...but I think you get the jest of my issue. BUT...this blog is not about all those short comings in my personality. It is about what a lot of your blogs are about. My inability to go one single day without eating lard.
I love grease. Well, that is what I tell myself and others. The truth is I am an addict. And just like any other addict my addiction will kill me eventually. No, I do not mean the addiction for hobbies. I mean I am slowly killing myself with food. Just as surely as someone commits suicide with pills or a gun I am killing myself and apparently I choose to die with every single binging bite...
I am writing this blog to hopefully work thru my addiction and get to a healthier place. WARNING***For anyone who reads this and may know me I want you to know this is not going to be a safe place because I intend to be totally honest about everything and everyone in my world who I can place blame on...even though it is me who is to blame...did I mention I HAVE ISSUES?
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